Much has happened since my last post. There may be too much to even post here now, but I want to try and capture the essence. The past four months have been beyond significant. They have been profound.
On New Year’s Eve Day, the eve of 2010, God very clearly told me “It’s time.” I knew what He meant. It was time for me to move forward, to step into my destiny. The time had come for the “what” of the last 2 years to be over, and for the “why” to make sense.
In January, I began taking some online courses through worshiptraining.com in worship theology, history and values with Dan Wilt. I also prepared and taught a 4-week class in worship development at my church called, “Simply Worship” which was designed to raise up and train worship leaders for our cell group and healing prayer ministries.
As I was teaching this class, there was no doubt that my passions lie in the area of worship development, not just on the outside in the areas of skills and tools, but my heart beats strongest when it comes to the places on the inside, matters of the heart where motives, attitudes and values lie.
I have carried very high values for worship over the past 20 years. They were birthed in me through my time in the Vineyard church, where worship is of supreme value. My own heart, however, had areas that were broken and unyielded to the Lord. He wanted to fix that.
The events of 2008 caused me to deal with those areas and allow God full access to bring His healing and restoration. I have cooperated with His hand and as a result, He has taken the most direct route possible to bring me to this point. It’s time.
I have sensed for many years that I have had a pastoral call on my life for worship leaders. I’m not talking about a title. I’m talking about a pastoral heart for worshippers and worship leaders. God has confirmed this to me profoundly over the past few months and has very clearly called me into ministry.
Through various circumstances and hearing the voice of God, I recently walked away from the job I had been working at a coffee shop, and am now stepping out in faith to establish a ministry called “Simply-Worship”. It’s not mine. It’s just my part in His. The logistics are still fleshing out but I have a clear vision and mission, and I walk with the full support and backing of the church that took me under its wing August 31, 2008, as broken and bleeding as I was.
I attended a Joyce Meyer conference in Chattanooga this weekend. God spoke so clearly to me, confirming what I already knew about the road I have been walking over the past two years, as well as the path I am currently on. At one point in her message, she gave the illustration of the pictures of Jesus where He is carrying the sheep on His shoulders. This is not just a sweet picture of the Good Shepherd. It depicts something even more profound.
When shepherds had a particularly unruly, rebellious or wandering sheep, they would take the sheep and break its legs. While it healed, the shepherd would carry it around his neck so that the sheep would get so used to being with him, that it would never wander again.
I have seen this picture many times, but in that moment, the message of it struck me deeply and brought me to heavy tears. I was that unruly, wandering sheep. I lived with areas that were unsurrendered to the Lord. I did not have integrity and authenticity in my secret life.
Out of His fierce love for me and His desire that I realize true healing, He broke my legs. I lost it all and had no ability to even stand on my own. He has has carried me around his neck over the past two years. I have been held so close to His heart. I have learned to hear His voice like never before. I have come to depend on Him for everything. I have laid myself fully on His mercy and have cooperated fully with His plan.
Now, my legs are healed and its time to use them. And like the sheep, I have grown so dependent on my Shepherd, have come to know Him and love Him like never before - I will never leave Him again.
I have often said through my journey that I wouldn’t wish my circumstances on anyone, but I would not trade what God has done in my life as a result for anything. I wouldn’t. Not one single bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment