A Profound Dream

Rarely do I dream, and even more rarely do I remember what I dreamed if I do. But this week, I woke up from a very profound dream that was so vivid, so real, and so poignant and significant.

I dreamed I was in a room of people and there was a sense of imminent danger, although I don't know what the danger was. Out of nowhere, someone walked right up to me, stuck a gun in my stomach and pulled the trigger. I felt the gunshot in my body and doubled over. There was a sense that I was dead anyway, so everyone just left me there to die. I knew I was going to die, yet there was a strange peace inside of me. It was as if it were just a matter of fact.

There was one faceless, nameless person who stayed back with me and he or she never spoke a word, I just knew their presence standing just behind my right shoulder as I sat reclined in a chair looking at my swollen stomach with a bullet hole in it.

I remember looking at my wound. I did not feel pain, but I did feel a tightness in my stomach. I watched as it did not bleed, but rather, it oozed a clearish, red tinged liquid that dripped down my left side. I felt great peace as I sat there and asked myself, "Why am I not dying? I should be dying. Why is it taking so long?"

When I woke up, I had that same tightness in my stomach, and I carried that feeling with me the rest of my waking day. It was just plain weird.

I'm not a dream interpreter by any stretch, but there is a profundity to this dream that has made me sit back and take pause. What does it mean? What does it represent? As I have processed this dream in my own mind and with some trusted friends, it seems as if it depicts the past year of my life.

There was an imminent danger that I did not know, and from it the enemy came and he shot me with the intent to kill. Many of those around me thought I was going to die anyway, so they just left me for dead.

Over the past year, I have felt as if I were dying, or that this would kill me, but somehow, I am still alive. I am not bleeding to death, but there is something escaping me via that wound - perhaps it's the junk inside that needed to get out of me, but it needed the wound to provide the exit for it. Who knows?

Through all of this journey, I have never been alone. When so many others bailed on me and left me for dead, I have had a Friend who has stuck with me no matter what. He has been a quiet, peaceful presence that continues to trump any aloneness I feel. Sometimes I still wonder why I'm not dying...

The dream did not have a resolution, but the bottom line is that this has not killed me, nor will it. I have at times wished it would, but God has His own agenda and He will not leave me or let me go.

Isaiah 41:9b-10 (Message)

'You're my servant, serving on my side. I've picked you. I haven't dropped you. 'Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.